Okay so I need to apologize for not writing in a long time. Way too long, actually, as I promised myself I have to write more often so I can look back on my life journey later when I get older (uni and work got really intense in the past couple of months..)

I feel like I need to talk about destiny, the moment you meet someone new, and the moment you say goodbye to them.

I don't believe in coincidence. Well, if you ask me, I believe coincedences exist... in our eyes, human's eyes. When in fact, everything happens for a reason and was already written. Sometimes all we have to do is to choose. Our choices determine our life's paths. If I didn't choose to leave home, I wouldn't have ended up here, in a small town, being an engineering student and a part-time worker, I wouldn't have met people who made me feel alive and excited about life, wouldn't have done things I didn't know I could.. So I'm glad I made that choice and I think I did that also because I'm stubborn, gotta admit ;)

Sometimes I get really frustrated thinking about the future. I'm basically a pretty impatient person and the fact that there are times where I don't have any control of the future at all is emotionally challenging for me. And also it's pretty ironic because one of my middle names is Shabrina and is the Arabic word for patience. So right now I'm a bit sad that I have to say goodbye to one of my favorite people really soon.. He's gonna be back in half a year but it's hard when you see people everday and suddenly they're not there anymore. I totally would skip the 6 months of cold and dark winter if I could. But hey, maybe all those 5-6 months won't be bad at all. Maybe our 'coincidences' would surprise us in a way that we wouldn't expect. And all these 'maybes'.. are what makes life interesting.

Oooh and this week I just experienced one of the most beautiful and magical nights in my life. My roommates and I drove to a lake just outside town, snuck in and went swimming under the full moon light. That moment was so peaceful, exciting and beautiful at the same time. Well, peaceful until Fabi walked slowly into the water as he was singing 'I'm coming like a wreeeckinng baaalll!' hahaha. The moon was shining so bright that we didn't need any flashlight to walk the dark, little paths in the forest. After swimming, we sat by the lake, wrapped in blankets and talked about funny/annoying roommates experience, culture, life, things that you wouldn't have time to talk about in daily life. You guys, if you haven't done it yet, do it! The feeling of the old leaves at the bottom of the lake when your feet touch it, the warm water, the sound of owls at night.. I love everything about it.

Imagine this lake, but at night.


So until then, folks! Just finished my first exam of this semester yesterday so I'm just gonna chill a bit and go to the grill party with other volunteers this afternoon. Have a nice time y'all!

xx

I discovered spoken word poetry -and Sarah- a few years ago and instantly fell in love with her poems. They speak the truth about human feelings, empowerment and even little things in life. One of my favorite poems of hers ever is this one. This makes me realize that men don't define you as a woman. If they can accept you with the way you define yourself as a woman, they're a keeper!

The Type

If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at,
you can let them look at you.
But do not mistake eyes for hands or windows or mirrors.
Let them see what a woman looks like.
They may have not ever seen one before.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch,
you can let them touch you.
Sometimes, it is not you they are reaching for.
Sometimes it is a bottle, a door, a sandwich, a Pulitzer-
another woman.
But their hands found you first.
Do not mistake yourself for a guardian or a muse or a promise
or a victim or a snack.
You are a woman- skin and bones, veins and nerves, hair and sweat.
You are not made out of metaphors, not apologies, not excuses.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold,
you can let them hold you.
All day they practice keeping their bodies upright.
Even after all this evolving it still feels unnatural.
Still strains the muscle, hold firms the arms and spine.
Only some men will want to learn what it feels like to curl
themselves into a question mark around you,
admit they do not have the answers they thought they would
by now.
Some men will want to hold you like the answer.
You are not the answer.
You are not the problem.
You are not the poem or the punch-line or the riddle or the joke.

Woman, if you grow up the type men want to love,
you can let them love you.
Being loved is not the same thing as loving.
When you fall in love, it is discovering the ocean after years of
puddle jumping.
It is realizing you have hands.
It is reaching for the tightrope when the crowds have all gone 
home.

Do not spend time wondering if you are the type of women
men will hurt.
If he leaves you with a car alarm heart, you learn to sing along.
It is hard to stop loving the ocean even after he has left you
gasping- "salty."
So forgive yourself for the decisions you've made.
The ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night.
And know this:
Know you are the type of woman who is searching for a place
to call yours.
Let the statues crumble.
You have always been the place.
You are a woman who can build it yourself.
You are born to build.
So as you might or might not know, I don't celebrate my own birthday. In fact, I appreciate even if someone just to write 'hb' (read: happy birthday) on my Facebook wall. And this year I am so so grateful that I could spend my birthday surrounded by the people (and pets included) that I love.

This post is also a thank-you post for everyone who made my day on February 25th, which means every single one of you who gave me hugs and kind wishes <3

I started off the day pretty well, because I woke up earlier than usual and the sun was out so I decided to go jogging at the park. As I went home, my flatmate was already awake, he gave me a hug (yes, despite my dirty, sweaty clothes and face) and we had breakfast together. My other flatmate woke up a bit later and turned out she secretly baked me a cake the other night! I blew off the candle and everybody went off to uni.


And then my friends showed up, we cooked together and ate vegetable curry AND vanilla ice cream AND a huge slice of another cake. That was a lot, I know.

A couple of days later, my girl friends also showed up, brought me an ice cream cake (how good is that?) And we ate it together and it was gone in no time!

So yeah, for someone who didn't plan on celebrating her birthday, that turned out to be really festive. I'm extremely grateful that so many of you cared enough to wish me a happy birthday and good prayers. It all comes back to you guys!! <3 even more amazing is that I feel like I've found a home in another place away from home.. hopefully we'll all have thousands of nice things to celebrate and be grateful of in the next years.

Xx Rara


Hi i'm back in the kitchen! Or back to baking, to be precise. I've been looking for the perfect banana bread recipe but then I realized I don't have a loaf tin so I decided to bake the banana bread as muffins, hence: banana bread muffins.

I wouldn't say it's the perfect recipe, but this one tastes surprisingly good, actually. Consindering that it's vegan, I'd say it's worth the try. I wanted to bake a non-vegan banana bread but then I realized (again) I don't have any eggs so I just tried the vegan version instead.

What you'll need:
225 grams of all-purpose flour
3 tsp baking powder
100 grams brown sugar
3 very ripe bananas
75ml vegetable or sunflower oil
3 tsp cinnamon
Crushed nuts or raisins

Preheat oven to 200 degrees Celsius. Mix the flour, baking powder and cinnamon. In a separate bowl, mash the bananas and combine with the oil and sugar. Combine the wet and dry ingredients together, add your nuts or raisins. Put it in muffin tin about three-quarter full. Bake in oven for about 20-25 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Enjoy!

I like to eat them with sunflower butter, it gives them nuttier flavor that I love. Happy baking!