The Type - A Poem by Sarah Kay

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I discovered spoken word poetry -and Sarah- a few years ago and instantly fell in love with her poems. They speak the truth about human feelings, empowerment and even little things in life. One of my favorite poems of hers ever is this one. This makes me realize that men don't define you as a woman. If they can accept you with the way you define yourself as a woman, they're a keeper!

The Type

If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at,
you can let them look at you.
But do not mistake eyes for hands or windows or mirrors.
Let them see what a woman looks like.
They may have not ever seen one before.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch,
you can let them touch you.
Sometimes, it is not you they are reaching for.
Sometimes it is a bottle, a door, a sandwich, a Pulitzer-
another woman.
But their hands found you first.
Do not mistake yourself for a guardian or a muse or a promise
or a victim or a snack.
You are a woman- skin and bones, veins and nerves, hair and sweat.
You are not made out of metaphors, not apologies, not excuses.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold,
you can let them hold you.
All day they practice keeping their bodies upright.
Even after all this evolving it still feels unnatural.
Still strains the muscle, hold firms the arms and spine.
Only some men will want to learn what it feels like to curl
themselves into a question mark around you,
admit they do not have the answers they thought they would
by now.
Some men will want to hold you like the answer.
You are not the answer.
You are not the problem.
You are not the poem or the punch-line or the riddle or the joke.

Woman, if you grow up the type men want to love,
you can let them love you.
Being loved is not the same thing as loving.
When you fall in love, it is discovering the ocean after years of
puddle jumping.
It is realizing you have hands.
It is reaching for the tightrope when the crowds have all gone 
home.

Do not spend time wondering if you are the type of women
men will hurt.
If he leaves you with a car alarm heart, you learn to sing along.
It is hard to stop loving the ocean even after he has left you
gasping- "salty."
So forgive yourself for the decisions you've made.
The ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night.
And know this:
Know you are the type of woman who is searching for a place
to call yours.
Let the statues crumble.
You have always been the place.
You are a woman who can build it yourself.
You are born to build.

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